Jigsaw Dreams

It's so much fun, out here.

2010-11-19T16:29:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had a dream, a dream in which you met someone.

And even after you wake, that person lingers in your mind.

I often wonder who these people are, these people your mind seemingly makes up.

But what if they're not made up, what if they passed you on the street that day, what if they exist somewhere in the world.

And somehow, there they are, in your dream.

Maybe that's supposed to mean something.

Maybe not.

Subject: Unknown

2010-10-15T15:01:00.000-07:00

The train tracks were rusty.

But at least the air was clean.

All I wanted was to hold your hand. Again.

I didn't know what to say, apart from,

'I think I might love you'

And that seemed inappropriate and like something I might regret.

You can't believe it; you were always singing along.

2010-08-04T16:54:00.000-07:00

You know when something could tear up your entire world.

Just like that.

When you need me most.

2010-06-29T15:34:00.000-07:00

I stop the car.

You open the door, get in.

Small talk I don't care for.

"I'm so sorry"

You say.

I look at you. I don't forgive you.

But I kiss you.

Because it is better to let you back in,

than to live without you.

Maybe you forgot all the things you are.

2010-06-21T15:37:00.000-07:00

Sometime's I wonder when you'll see it.

Mostly I think you never will.

You'll never want to.

Thats too bad.

Lonliness is many things.

2010-06-21T15:29:00.000-07:00

It can hit you hard and all of a sudden.

A car crash collision in a single moment.

It can sneak up on you quietly, hiding behind you,

until one day you turn around to look at your life.

Either way, you realise you are lonely.

You are alone.

Singular.

This isn't just losing your boyfriend, girlfriend or best friend.

This is realising that should you fall; there is no-one in sight to catch you,

Calm before the storm.

2010-06-05T19:03:00.000-07:00

There's this feeling.

It's buzzing like an electric current.

It's rushing like someone late for something important.

Its crashing like waves on the cliffs.

And its pumping through my veins.

It is anger.

It is frustration.

It is misunderstood for what it really means.

The Goodbye.

2009-12-11T17:41:00.000-08:00

But soon I will have to say goodbye to you.
The real goodbye. And here is the reality; it is likely I might never see you again.

I have experienced this goodbye before.

The goodbye that feels like someone is ripping you’re heart out.

That feels like someone has walked in, held you at gunpoint and walked out with everything.

When you can’t breathe because at that point, crying is more important than breathing.

When you can’t bear to look away, never mind let go.

But there is no choice and it chokes you.

I want you staplegunned right to my side.

2009-11-14T19:04:00.000-08:00

I woke up and the sun was shining.

I looked up and you were looking over.

This is now a good day.

As always. We are drawn together like magnets.

If you ask, I will say yes.

This time I will answer yes, outloud.

Yes.

I couldn't stand to be in that place.

2009-10-26T16:39:00.000-07:00

Things got better. Because they had to.

Now we spill across the boarders, place ourselves in seperate corners.

2009-10-19T15:25:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, people say they'll be there everytime, anytime.

But when that time arrives; there's only an empty space to hold on to.

Into the sky you go, and I can't change it.

2009-10-15T15:37:00.000-07:00

Theres an empty space and when all you can feel around you is air, but somehow you can't seem to breathe.

when someone tells you how it really is, and it so clear that it stings, yet everything suddenly goes out of focus.

like when you're aching to reach out, to grab hold of that hand, but you're scared of what you're risking.

When you realise you no longer have a choice. When you realise you have to look forward, because looking back is unbearable.

Tell me what the hell I'm supposed to do.

2009-10-11T16:43:00.000-07:00

Things will get better. Because they have to.

Mistakes we wouldn't learn from.

2009-10-11T16:36:00.000-07:00

I'm beginning to learn, and accept; you're not going to change.

You're not here, and I'm not there.

2009-09-28T17:52:00.000-07:00

I'm not bothering with you any more.

You are no longer worth the hassle.

2009-09-19T15:44:00.000-07:00

Who I am, who I'm not, who I wanna be.

2009-09-19T15:32:00.000-07:00

In one small moment, eyes can meet, a spark can fly, a connection can be made.
Then this all amounts to nothing in the next moment.
And no-one will ever know what might have been.

2009-09-13T10:18:00.001-07:00

I think I might hate you.

Boy, did they have fun, behind the sea.

2009-04-08T16:16:00.000-07:00

Because we can't all be picture perfect beautiful.

Beauty is something we all search for, and find in the most unexpected places.

And when you find yourself falling for someone that lights your skies.

And their mere presence makes you feel all those down moments in life were just insignificant.

Because nothing can compare.

And through the darkness you can hear them whipering your name, reaching out for you too.

2009-03-16T13:34:00.000-07:00

A reflection of something we're missing.

2009-03-12T17:11:00.000-07:00

To daydream, to allow your imagination to take over you.

I remember when that was all too easy; the months I spent in a world of ideal, a world of my own.

But heartbreak has taught me well. Daydreaming is dangerous, to allow your hopes to reach such heights. A risk too easily regretted.

But.

Sometimes its worth the risk, to ignore the danger alarms ringing in your mind.

For just one moment of high hope and reachable dreams.

Of all the words and all the lines.

2009-02-07T01:46:00.000-08:00

And it began that they would last.

Causing chaos for themselves, they began to fall in love.

Broken skies couldnt keep them away.

Was it ever enough to make him stay?